Ancient therapy of the future

I'm stoked about this! A Really Long Strange Trip.

My dream is to be a Psychologist that works with the terminally ill and doses them with psychedelic drugs. For real.

I'm excited. The research is coming back. It's more controlled. It's more reliable and valid. Maybe people will pay attention. Maybe people will finally get it.

I began tossing around the idea of pursuing a career with psychedelic therapy a few years ago after trying mushrooms myself. It was the most spiritual experience I've ever had. The most connected I've ever felt with, well, everything. The remarkableness of it was that the feeling was still attainable weeks, even months later. I can still feel the little fingers of oneness and love tugging at my brain occasionally, and I haven't touched any for almost a year now.

I've read books about psychedelic research and therapy (which was shutdown after the drug clusterfuck of the late 60s). The research was starting to shake things up. Patients were overstepping thresholds in fractions of the time it would've take conventional psychotherapy. Addicts were regaining control of their lives, the terminally-ill were finding solace in death. People were finding pathways to more permanent change.

Now, we've become a culture dependent upon anti-depressents, anti-anxiety meds, cosmetic surgery, and the obsession to reach perfection. We want solutions. We want cures. We want it now.

It's time to reconnect with the ancients, you lovely bastards.

If you're interested in this stuff at all, check out Dr Rick Strassman's site. He did research with DMT in the 90s. And here's an interview with Dr Roland Griffiths.

Megahumans activate.

Get your damn sea salt ready. It's time to get illuminated.

So, I'm going into hippy phase again. Peace, love, and whatnot. Don't be scared. This happens sporadically. Maybe good ole Datta ain't bullshittin'. Maybe Grace Light is comin' my way.

Check this shit out: Flat screen TVs blamed for accelerating global warming
So much for all the "Green" talk. I always wonder if people really think that corporations take any of this seriously. It's a fad, people. A marketing ploy. Lizard people don't have to worry about global warming. It's time to start taking it to the streets, guys. So many Doobie Brothers can't be wrong.

Speaking of taking it to the streets, what the fuck is wrong with this country? I'd all but forgotten that there's a war going on. We are some lazy, apathetic mofos. I guess none of the protesting gets any media time. But Paris Hilton's roast beef vagina sure does.

Oh, I forgot! Hippy phase! I love you. and them. and those people. and that tree. Look at all the patterns....

This never gets old.

Idle Hands and Swollen Glands

So, there's a lull at work. Oh god, speaking of foreign words for genitalia, there's this Danish guy that calls in and wants the girls to say "lul" which means "penis" and "nurking" which stands for "fucking."

NURKING! Imagine that conversation:

Hamlet: Oh yah, you like dis lul? I put it in your bum-bum? Yah?

Girl: Um, oh yeah. I would like to rub your lul all over my, um, bum-bum.

Hamlet: Oh yah, now we nurking together! Yah? Nurking! Nurking! You can say nurking, yah?

Girl: Um, nurking. Oh oh oh, nurking, ooh ah ooh oh ah. Nurking. Nurk. Ing.

Hamlet: Oh yah, my lul, it is exploooooode!

I'm not sure why I picture the Swedish Chef when thinking of a Danish guy, but I'm American, so all that shit is lumped together somewhere near Bjork.

Whoa, do you think the Swedish Chef is circumcised? It's probably fairly easy to snip off foam foreskin.

"Forgin smorgin OOOOOOORGAN!"

Calling All Caucasians

So, I was perusing this website called boredatwork.com because I was bored at work (dot com), and I came across this wonderful site: Stuff White People Like

Shit is hysterical. Phia and I looked at it for hours and giggled our asses off. Buy the book. Impress your friends.

Oh, and don't forget about this classic: Black People Love Us

I love the interwebs. I can get on youtube while I'm at work, and in the course of an hour, watch videos about secret mormon underwear, police brutality, wacky car crashes, babies laughing, old people farting, conspiracy theorizing, and fat kids crying.

I can't really keep a single train of thought going in my head when I'm at work, so pardon my rambling. Or just deal with it.

Speaking of work, man, I don't know if I should start writing all the stories that come out of this place or allow you keep on feeling safe and secure when you're all snuggled up in your bed at night. I've never been shocked by anything anyone's said since starting here, but I'm sure at least a few of you aren't aware of the depravity that runs rampant in the streets. And houses. And work places. And parents' basements.

Now watch this innovative video.

Piddle Piss

I've decided that I never want to leave my apartment again. I'm just going to survive on cat turds and transcendental meditation. I've heard that particular combination has effects that are similar to huffing scotch guard.

I have been so pissed lately. I can't even say pissed because that word connotes some kind of high energy transfer. It's more like amped-up apathy. I have no interest in the majority of places, things, or people in this city. I'm not buying that depression shit because I'm not piddly pissing in my pillow every night wondering what went wrong with my life. I'm just straight up bored. Like teenager bored. Like "what-the-hell-are-we-gonna-do-tonight-the-dairy-queen-is-closed-and-cletus-done-got-grounded-from-using-his-granny's-minivan" type bored.

I think it's a mere coincidence that my Dirty Thirty is just over a month away. (wow, this shit gets autosaved as you're typing. nifty!) I finally got a college degree, and now I want more. More college loans! Yay!

I tried all that kill-your-ego, love-everyone, peace-love stuff for a long time. In the end, it left me befuddled as fuck. Or maybe it helped me reconcile the fact that you can't expect everyone to live according to the same systems of belief, and yes, spirituality is a system of belief no matter how open-ended the so-called "gurus" claim it to be. Someone needs to find a way to better enmesh Eastern ideals into the Western clusterfuck. This new age Oprah shit ain't cutting it.

Ok, this isn't just gonna be some place where I moan and bitch all the time. Just mostly bitch. My life goes in five-year cycles. I was digging life on this planet we call the Party Barge, but now, it's time to get shit done. How do I get shit done, you ask? Well, I join the Pissy Party Brigade, and I get motivated to get the hell on out.

You heard?

I love this man.